Paris Bucketlist, Wednesday: the Louvre

Today’s mish was the Louvre.

This should be the part where I offer some crazy insider information about how to get tickets and beat the winding, snaking line. How when you get off at Palais Royal, go to the the first cafe on the left and in the back there is an old man… But here’s what I did. I went to the main entrance. I waited about 5 minutes to go through security and 5 minutes in line to get a ticket. Sorry.

Funny thing walking up to the to the entrance though. I put off going here, or at least wasn’t in a rush, because I was here 5 years ago. Or so I thought. As I was walking up it came back to me that in fact I hadn’t been to the Louvre before. The day we came it was a Tuesday, and the Louvre is closed on Tuesdays. (Well why didn’t go another day that trip? Because I found out that night my ex was pregnant. By her best friend’s brother. I spent the rest of that trip on the hotel room floor. So, in fact, twice I have had relationships come to an end in this city…)

The piece of art that the Louvre is most famous for, is the Mona Lisa. I have already mentioned my aversion for liking what everyone else likes. So I didn’t go see it. It’s the most famous work, but I couldn’t tell you why. I bet of the thousands who flock to it only a fraction could tell you why it is so revered. Anyway…*

I covered a ton of ground. I was there for 7 hours. I did almost everything except for sculpture. It’s easier not to get slowed down reading everything when you can’t read the signs.

Venus de Milo



Close up

Hatchet in his head

What snake biting my nipple…?

They are trying to milk/JO this young bull…

One side…

The other.


This was a close-up of the top of their heads.

Now that’s a book cover…

I just liked this.

I probably stared at this longer than any other thing in the Louvre. It is a painting done in the 1700’s that was so stunningly detailed and lifelike, I thought it was a photo. I’m still not sure it isn’t.


Eyes on a plate

Purple nurple/ titty twist/ tune in Tokyo


Here is what I noticed:

  • Amazing to see how well certain colors held over centuries
  • Lots and lots of religious themes
  • Lots of royalty
  • Lots of tits/ breast feeding
  • Aside from humans, in order of frequency: dragons, roosters, rabbits, dogs


* And of course I saw the Mona Lisa.