New Mexico

I recently went out to Albuquerque, New Mexico for 8 days to attend my boy’s wedding. Had a blast.

I haven’t been out there in probably about… 6 years? My ex’s fam had a house in Española so I spent a fair amount of In Santa Fe, Albuquerque and Taos. It’s an amazing and different part of the country for sure. I remember the first time I got there, calling mom from a payphone in the square in Santa Fe, trying to explain the sky to her. (With hand motions no less.) It goes all the way from one side of your feet to the other. So it was great to be back.

Jeff (aka: Jethro, el Jeffe, the great Pontessa) was getting married to Lacy and after a difficult year for them both, it was great to be out there and kick it with my man, and get a peek into his world and meet his bride, Lacy. Jeff was my spons the first two or three years I was clean. We have both bounced around the country so it has been about 12 years since we got to really spend some QT. Aside from mom and Pam, it is one of the longest relationships I have ever had. And one of the closest. My first few years clean were certainly memorable and impacted my life and Jeff was a big part of it. Definitely helped to instill beliefs that are the foundation of my recovery, and a big part of the reason I am still alive and clean. We have a shit-ton of stories. (“All about the bengies,” Officer Malo, etc.)

I won’t go into the play by play of the week, but a few highlights:

  • Meeting Jeff and Lacy’s dogs:





    There is some bad blood between JD and Chonch, so they are in the middle of some intensive, Cesar Milan-esque training. I got a crash course. If you need help with your dog(s), get at me.

  • Their cat:



  • Hummingbird in the morning:

  • For Jeff’s bachelor party, we retreated to his friend Roy’s house in the mountains and took part in a sweat lodge ceremony, cooked steaks, smoked cigars, talked shit:

    The sweat was crazy. It was probably one of the most surreal, intense, memorable experiences ever. Yes, it was hot. Imagine the hottest thing you have ever experienced. It was much hotter then that. There were about 15 of us in there. There are four “doors” or rounds. The first is song/prayer, the second prayer and third and fourth are more song/prayer. I didn’t make it all the way through (but I did memorize a few words and offered my prayer), and was unbelievably disappointed. Aside from that feeling, there was this feeling of calm, bliss, ease, peace. And despite having sweat profusely, I have never felt cleaner. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

    After the sweat we were all sitting around smoking cigars and I was meeting Jeff’s friends. Turns out one guy got clean in Doylestown, we know the same people, and hooked up with the same girl. Small world. Then I met another friend of his who had come back from living in Europe, and spent 9 months in Paris. We know the same people from Paris too. Asked me if I knew a dude named Mike from Philly. A guy he met while living in Amsterdam. Turns out he is a good friend, and a guy I used to sponsor. Weird. It’s a small fucking planet.

  • Wedding:

    Jeff and Mom

    Jeff and Lacy


    After 6 months of no rain (to the point cops were issuing $500 tickets for people smoking in their car with the window open), of course their was the threat of rain, but with only a few sprinkles, thankfully, it held off. The ceremony was sweet, intimate, full of each of their personalities. There was even a corn-dog. The wedding was held at a friend’s house, officiated by Lacy’s sponsor, and the most amazing part was all the work Lacy put into it. She made the invitations, the food (for 120 people) the table decorations, bridesmaid’s accessories and I’m sure a ton more. The woman was baking up to the moment she got dressed. It was great to see her walking around with a huge smile. She was happy, which made Jeff happy, and with the both of them describing the day as perfect, made everyone happy.

  • A trip on the tram, overlooking Albuquerque:
  • And at some point along the way, I got to hold one of these.
  • Watching Jeff’s brother-in-law, a stuntman who works on Breaking Bad in addition to other movies and shows, rip his father-in-law’s rented 2011 Camaro through the neighbor hood.

So, as you can see, it was a pretty amazing trip. An amazing part of the country, with some amazing people. Good to see an old friend, and meet new ones.

I would say best of luck to Lacy and Jeff, but I don’t think luck has anything to do with it. And even if it did, they wouldn’t need it.